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"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear,
but forgetting where you heard it."
-Laurence J. Peter
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"Read not to contradict and confute,
nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."
-Francis Bacon
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I wonder if there are more people with a problem similar to mine. It´s an interesting one. Wherever I go,
whatever I do, I always seem to take the wrong road, choose the wrong queue (line, for the non-British English
speakers among you), etc., etc. It doesn´t matter whether I´m in my car, in a supermarket, any other shop or
establishment - I always make a choice that seems to take me more time than other people.
When driving, I always seem to choose the road with the longest traffic queue. Even the lane I choose usually has
the slowest traffic. When queueing up to pay for my shopping, I always seem to choose the queue that moves the
slowest. There may very well be a Murphy´s law that says that the shorter the queue, the slower it moves. In fact,
I looked it up. There is such a law, but not by Murphy. It´s called Etorre´s Observation: "The other line moves
faster." Quite true. At least in my case. It couldn´t possibly apply to everyone, because there have to
be people in that other queue, line, lane too, right?
Do you think that there are people out there - or, rather, here - whose fate it is to be completely
subject to Murphy´s laws? If there are, then I´m definitely one of them. By the way, who was this Murphy anyway? The world´s biggest pessimist? The world´s biggest realist?
The world´s most down-to-earth philosopher? I´m torn between thinking he was a pessimist or a realist. He
definitely couldn´t have been the world´s worst pessimist, because that was someone by the name of O´Tool.
He or she said about Murphy´s law: ´Murphy was an optimist.´ Anyway, Murphy must have had a lot of negative
experiences. Seen a lot of twists of fate. Someone against whom the dice were often loaded.
I did some research, and found out that Murphy was a captain Edward A. Murphy, Jr., who was an engineer at
Edwards Air Force Base in California, USA. In 1949 he concluded that "If anything can go wrong, it will". I hope it didn´t take any airplane crashes
for him to discover that.
I have also asked myself whether creating Murphy´s laws wasn´t tempting fate. I often wonder whether
people who do not notice the kind of bad luck I see in my choice of roads, queues, etc., simply do not have that
kind of bad luck because they don´t think about it. And maybe it isn´t ´bad luck´, maybe it is a kind of
fate which we invite by tempting it, by thinking about it, by believing in it? Or maybe we put ourselves up to
making poor choices because we think we will anyway?
On the other hand - I´m beginning to feel like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof
- perhaps they do have the same kind of bad luck, but they simply don´t know or notice it. Perhaps I´m
paying too much attention to it.
And do you think you can have a Murphy´s year? I´ve had one several times. You know - the kind of year in which
you get ill all the time, loose your job, all the appliances at home die on you, etc., etc. I´ve had such a year
twice now. On average every seven or eight years. Could your life also have a seven year itch?
It looks like I´m coming up with more questions than I have answers. I may just have to let it go. Some things
in life will always remain a mystery. And it looks like this is one of them. Thanks a lot, captain Murphy! :-;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For those who like this sort of thing, here´s some more laws and observations similar to Murphy´s:
MURPHY´S LAW: If anything can go wrong, it will.
O´TOOL´S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY´S LAW: Murphy was an optimist.
THE UNSPEAKABLE LAW - by ANONYMOUS, a very popular author :-)): As soon as you mention something ... If it´s
good, it goes away; if it´s bad, it happens.
HOWE´S LAW: Every man has a scheme that will not work.
ETORRE´S OBSERVATION: The other line moves faster.
LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
JENNING´S COROLLARY: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional
to the cost of the carpet.
LORD CHESTERFIELD´S MOTTO: Anything that is worth doing, is worth doing well.
GORDON´S FIRST LAW: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
THE GOLDEN RULE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
BARTH´S DISTINCTION: There are two types of people: Those who divide people into two types,
and those who don´t.
MITCHELL´S LAW OF SCHOOL BOARDS: Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are held
to discuss it.
BENZINI´S LAW: If the rich have it, I want it!
ANONYMOUS: No good deed will go unpunished.
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Disclaimer
This column is only for the purpose of entertaining, educating or
giving food for thought. Any persons, characters, countries, institutions or groups
mentioned are - as a matter of principle - fictional: any resemblance to existing ones is
purely by chance. ;-)
If the content of this column offends anyone, please accept the
columnist's apologies: no offense was intended.
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column noun
1a: a vertical arrangement of items on a page
b: a vertical section of a printed page
c: an accumulation arranged vertically
d: a department or feature (as of humor, sports,
literary reviewing, or gossip) in a newspaper or periodical, under a permanent
title and generally reflecting the writer's individual tastes and point of view.
2: a supporting pillar
3: a form, structure, or formation shaped like a column
(Webster's Dictionary.)
Relevant reads:
Unwritten Laws: The Unofficial Rules of Life as Handed Down by Murphy and Other Sages
Murphy's Law 2000: What Else Can Go Wrong in the 21st Century
Murphy's Law: Lawyers
Murphy's Law: Doctors
Mother Murphy's Law: And Other Perils of Parenthood
The New Murphy's Law: 10 Unconventional Rules for Making Everything Go Right in Your Life and Work
DVD:
 Fiddler on the Roof
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