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"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear,
but forgetting where you heard it."
-Laurence J. Peter
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"Read not to contradict and confute,
nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."
-Francis Bacon
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Some time ago I saw a TV documentary about dogs, which I think was called "The worldīs most successful parasites",
or words to that effect. Scientists had decided to attack the idea that dogs are "Manīs Best Friend"
and had come up with the idea theyīre parasites.
Why parasites? The idea was that if a being lives off you, if you feed it, itīs a parasite.
Well, that may sound very scientific, but they forgot something. They forgot to check their definition.
Iīve done that for them. Hereīs an example. This is what Websterīs International Dictionary says about parasites:
"Something that resembles a biological parasite [something that lives off, and on or in, an organism, and
that causes the host harm] in dependence on something else for existence or support without making a useful or
adequate return."
They are, of course, right in claiming that dogs live off people. People tend to feed their dogs, yes,
so that part is quite correct. Dogs are dependent on people for their existence or support, so that might
make you think that dogs are indeed parasites. But itīs the other parts of the definition that make this idea
an untenable proposition.
Letīs look at the part where it says that biological parasites, with which theyīre being compared, cause their
hosts harm. Is that true? If the definition had mentioned "damage", they could have argued that dogs cause
financial damage. That would be quite true. Theyīre an expense, and most dogs do not earn their own living.
There are exceptions, of course, like circus dogs, shepherdīs dogs, police dogs, etc., but as a rule a dog
does not earn his own living. However, the definition talks of "harm", not damage. Do our canine companions
cause us harm?
Admitted, itīs possible. It happens. There are those dogs that bite or cause harm in other ways. In fact,
a puppy I bought once, turned out to display a dangerous combination of epilepsy and agression.
After biting four out of my five family members he had to be returned to the breeder. (That was just in time:
I myself was family member number five...) One in our family, my wife, was bitten so badly that she had to get
tetanus shots at the doctorīs. But these dogs are exceptions. Most are not dangerous at all. Even my own
family members, some of whom had become very wary of dogs due to this experience, have had to admit that.
The dog we have now, has restored their faith in the canine species completely, because sheīs a sweet cuddle of
a dog. She wouldnīt hurt a fly. Well ... actually, she does hurt flies - sheīs the best fly catcher
Iīve ever seen - but she would never intentionally hurt a human.
Instead of doing their owners harm, most dogs make a valuable contribution to their lives. And with that, we
have come to look at that part of the definition where it talks of parasites not "making a useful or adequate
return". Well, dogs do make a useful or adequate return.
Most dog owners will tell you they especially value their dogīs company. Why? I mean, they canīt talk, they cannot
even sign, like the orang outang I saw on TV recently. So communication is somewhat difficult, which means we
donīt keep them for their communication skills. But how about social skills? They definitely like to please us
with their companionship. Theyīre usually friendly, cheerful and thankful. So, even if we rule out working dogs,
they provide a definite service, fulfill a need.
I mean, which dog owner isnīt glad to be cheerfully greeted by his dog when he gets up in the morning, gets
home from work, etc.? The enthusiasm, the tail wagging, the generally happy attitude of the dog in such situations
really does you good. Even after the worst nightīs sleep Iīm easily cheered up when our dog jumps up at the
sight of me, and insists on licking and greeting me. Even after the most exhausting day Iīm pleased with
that same greeting by my dog. And thereīs something about the way she skips and frolics along when I take her out
for a walk that tends to make me cheerful as well. Her "walking" isnīt so much walking - itīs running,
skipping, jumping! Any doctor would agree that this is very healthy indeed - even if you were only to look at it
and not take part.
And has your dog ever licked you when you had a wound somewhere? I read that a dogīs saliva has a certain
disinfectant quality, even for humans. So donīt worry about hygiene! And a recent discovery is that children
from homes with dogs are less susceptible to disease and are emotionally beter balanced than other children.
Or how about the many dogs that saved their owners from imminent danger? The stories are countless, varying
from people kept from crossing the street when itīs not safe, to dogs pointing out cancerous tumors in or on
their masters, and dogs warning their owners for fires and other grave dangers.
As I said: Iīm not convinced we can consider dogs to be parasites. In fact, Iīm more inclined to repeat that
well worn, but valid phrase: "A dog is manīs best friend!"
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Disclaimer
This column is only for the purpose of entertaining, educating or
giving food for thought. Any persons, characters, countries, institutions or groups
mentioned are - as a matter of principle - fictional: any resemblance to existing ones is
purely by chance. ;-)
If the content of this column offends anyone, please accept the
columnist's apologies: no offense was intended.
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column noun
1a: a vertical arrangement of items on a page
b: a vertical section of a printed page
c: an accumulation arranged vertically
d: a department or feature (as of humor, sports,
literary reviewing, or gossip) in a newspaper or periodical, under a permanent
title and generally reflecting the writer's individual tastes and point of view.
2: a supporting pillar
3: a form, structure, or formation shaped like a column
(Webster's Dictionary.)
Relevant reads:
Parasites
Man's Best Friend
Man's Best Friend 2003 Wall Calendar
Love of Goldens
Dog Heroes: Saving Lives and Protecting
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