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"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear,
but forgetting where you heard it."
-Laurence J. Peter
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"Read not to contradict and confute,
nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."
-Francis Bacon
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I've decided to start a new trend in low-maintenance gardening: weed gardens. Lately I have found the words of a
popular song from, I believe, the seventies to be quite true: Weeds are easy to grow!
It's not that I'm lazy or anything. In fact, I'm a relatively productive kind of person. It's just that, due to
personal circumstances, I don't have much energy left for gardening at present. And I have a garden that is oozing with
potential, I really do. The past six years my wife and I have worked hard. We removed dead shrubs, ripped out the
posts and barbwire that the previous owners had used to make it a kind of concentration camp for their huge dog, and we
planted dozens and dozens of new shrubs,
fruit trees, willow trees and other promising plants. And the results in beautiful blooms
and fine foliage are definitely there. The garden promises to become a sumptuous floral paradise. And, in fact, in some
ways it already is.
Before we bought our dyke cottage, we had been staunch renters of homes for about fourteen years. And any garden that came
with a rented home, wasnīt really mine. So I was hardly interested in putting any work into it. But suddenly we had a
property of our own. And that property came with a garden. Allright, not the ideal garden. In fact, most
of it was (and is) on a slope - the dyke. And, as I already mentioned, when we bought it, it basically looked like a
concentration camp. But it was ours. And suddenly a motivation emerged to do something with it beyond mowing the grass
once in a while.
But what do you do when you want to do some gardening, but haven't a clue as to how or what or when?
This is where the BBC came to the rescue. Or, to be precise: Alan Titchmarsh. My wife was changing TV channels, and came
across a programme called Gardenerīs World. Presented by Alan. I watched it with her, and we were hooked. Here was someone
who not only showed an infectious enthusiasm for gardening, but who was also able to explain any gardening task in such a
way that it was understandable and even seemed doable for amateurs. Since then, we have watched almost every edition of Gardenerīs World
since. (And were very sad to see Alan leave the program. Monty Don, his successor, certainly does a good job too, but the
programme will never be the same without Alan.) And watching Alan, Tommy and Charlie Dimmock in Ground Force gave us
ideas for hard landscaping. And we went to work.
Ugly concrete poles and barbwire disappeared. Shrubs, trees, climbers, perennials and annuals appeared. I became very
interested in roses when I found out that they like clay - and our river dyke garden has plenty of clay on its slope! So we
surrounded ourselves with all kinds of roses, evergreens and other beautiful plants. It was beginning to look like a patch
of paradise.
And then things happened. Things are bound to happen in a family of five. One family member was found to have a burn-out.
Another something else. And so on and so forth. Within a few years we felt we were a family of living wrecks. And have
you ever seen a living wreck keep up a garden perfectly and beautifully? Nor have I! You can guess the result.
We now have a striking combination of beautiful roses, other plants and shrubs, and ... you guessed it: weeds!
Now, this combination in our garden would normally be unacceptable. I thought it was unacceptable, too. When the growing
season started and the weeds came up really fast, and we couldnīt cope with them, I initially got very frustratred indeed.
But Iīm getting used to it now, I think. I mean, you should see the combinations - rosa New Dawn,
surrounded by stingy nettles makes an interesting contrast.
And the cow parsley that grew underneath the buddleias and fruit trees actually looked rather
charming. Even the dandelions next to the foxgloves could not possibly be called an ugly combination.
And there are other benefits. I didnīt know this until recently, but according to one of the many BBC gardening gurus
nettles are actually very beneficial plants for bees. And bees, of course, are very beneficial for any garden.
And if you think that going for this somewhat more natural look is only good for the bees, youīre wrong. Even our dog
loves it too. Ashley thinks the high grasses and weeds are great! She runs through them, hiding between them now and then,
playing hide and seek with imaginary enemies or friends, and she generally gives the impression that now she can really
feel as one with her ancestors, the wolves. And I have to say, a golden retriever in high grass reminds me of documentaries
about African wildlife - lions on savannahs, out to catch a meal. Admitted, all Ashley could ever hope to catch in our
garden is our cats, and an occasional toad or snail, but she seems to think this is mere detail. The speed she develops
when pursuing our cats in the high grass is something any African lion would be proud of.
And she seems very happy doing it. Unfortunately, the cats do not seem to be able to see the fun of it.
In the meantime, of course, we are trying to get the energy and the time to properly take care of our garden. But until
we do, weīll accept the wild view we have at present. And since this way of combining cultivated plants with weeds is not
generally accepted in gardenerīs circles, I decided that it is best to promote it as a new trend. So join the movement,
stop weeding and mowing, and let nature do what it wants! And as soon as my wife and I get our gardening act together,
our garden just may look better than yours...
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Disclaimer
This column is only for the purpose of entertaining, educating or
giving food for thought. Any persons, characters, countries, institutions or groups
mentioned are - as a matter of principle - fictional: any resemblance to existing ones is
purely by chance. ;-)
If the content of this column offends anyone, please accept the
columnist's apologies: no offense was intended.
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column noun
1a: a vertical arrangement of items on a page
b: a vertical section of a printed page
c: an accumulation arranged vertically
d: a department or feature (as of humor, sports,
literary reviewing, or gossip) in a newspaper or periodical, under a permanent
title and generally reflecting the writer's individual tastes and point of view.
2: a supporting pillar
3: a form, structure, or formation shaped like a column
(Webster's Dictionary.)
Relevant reads:
Weeds
Weeds in My Garden: Observations on Some Misunderstood Plants
Alan Titchmarsh: Trowel and Error
Alan Titchmarsh: How to Be a Gardener, Book 1
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